Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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