Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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