So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
