nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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