JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
