I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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