I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Your dad touched me again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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