I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
