i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize