I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
