Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
