"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
