dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
