Sry I called you an 8
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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