Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
