What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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