fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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