He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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