with your own penis?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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