this just has baby written all over it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
