why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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