oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
