Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
