can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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