If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
