Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
