last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
