We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
