Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
