watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
