Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize