I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
