I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
