At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I understand Curling. That high.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
