I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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