So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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