Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
