Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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