So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
