and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
