Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
