Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
