You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
