He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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