Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize