dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
