i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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