These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.