Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?