I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
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And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.