How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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