I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
last night I used snow as a chaser
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
