I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
