eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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