Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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