idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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