Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
