Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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