Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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