my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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