you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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