goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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