I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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